Your Self-Image Colors Your Perception

Do you tend to assume that people don’t like you? Do you always jump to the conclusion that others are angry with you, even if there is no real reason? Do you worry that they are disappointed in you? Or secretly annoyed by you?

If you tend to constantly worry about what others think of you, the problem might actually be what you think of yourself.

Your self-image is how you see yourself. But it’s also the way that you believe others see you as well, and that may not always be accurate. You may see yourself as a failure and therefore, you believe that other people see you as a failure too. But generally, this is not true.

In reality, most of us tend to be harsher with ourselves than we ever would be with someone else. If you call yourself names, put yourself down, and blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, then your self-esteem is probably low. You may find it difficult to accept a compliment from someone because it goes against what you believe about yourself.

Having a negative self-image of yourself makes it very difficult, if not impossible, to believe that others might actually like you or accept you. This can create problems for you in your relationships with other people because you make negative assumptions about what they think of you. Because of this, your low self-esteem can create a wedge between you and other people.

If you want to be able to enjoy better relationships with others, begin by working on your relationship with yourself. Start with changing the way you talk to yourself. A good rule of thumb is to never say something to yourself that you wouldn’t say to someone else. Stop calling yourself ugly names and start having a little patience with yourself. Being humble does not mean that you need to emotionally abuse yourself.

Having a healthy level of self-esteem does not make you arrogant. It does not mean that you think you are better than anyone else. But it also doesn’t mean that you are inferior to everyone else either. Be as fair and kind and forgiving with yourself as you would be with others. Make peace with yourself. When you have been able to do so, you will find that you are better able to accept compliments, trust others, and feel secure in your relationships.

Published by Julie Bailey, LCPC

I am a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois. I hold a master's degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, I'm an author and a clinical manager and my life goal is to help you live your best life possible. I get excited about the daffodils in the spring and the colorful leaves in the fall (I mean like ridiculously excited). I enjoy genealogy, old cemeteries, loud music, and trivia, and I refuse to ever outgrow Harry Potter. I am an empath, which means that I literally feel the pain of others, and from time to time, this requires a visit to a quiet beach so that the wind and waves can soothe my soul.

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